


A Love Letter To The Unconventionally Attractive

by NukesAudios



Category: GWA - Fandom
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Mutual Masturbation, Other, Potatoes, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:08:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28580997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NukesAudios/pseuds/NukesAudios
Summary: An Audio Erotica Script, where the listener has been dragging themselves about being "not conventionally attractive" and you, as their friend are armed with a metaphor and a handful of potato flowers and will show them the true nature of their unique, unconventional beauty. And there's some mutual masturbation at the end because otherwise its an r/AudioCandy post, not a GWA one lol.[A4A] [Friends To Lovers] [Potato Flowers] [Adoration] [Lengthy Excited Diatribe] [Unconventionally Attractive] [Potatoes] [Quite Sweary] [Undressing Together] [Kissing] [Mutual Masturbation] [god-awful potato puns]
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	A Love Letter To The Unconventionally Attractive

**Author's Note:**

> An Audio Erotica Script
> 
> Written for performance on the GonewildAudio/GonewildAudible subreddits and wherever else is popular for audio erotica these days. 
> 
> If you perform it, please link me so I can come hear it! ♡ Please just credit and tag me as appropriate for whichever platform you upload to! (Nukes Audios - u/Nuclearthrowaway99 - https://www.reddit.com/u/Nuclearthrowaway99)
> 
> This script is written A4A, but by all means amend and shape it for whichever audience you like. Pull it apart, mould a butt groove into it and make it comfy and yours. Thanks for reading if you do and thankyou a dozen more times over if you do fill it!
> 
> -Nuke

A Love Letter to The Unconventionally Attractive

============================================

[...] Pause for return dialogue

《Tone suggestions/directions/sfx/etc》

*xyz* EMPHASIS.

============================================

《Just a calm, measured tone. You're just meeting a friend. To tell them you're worried about how they're talking about themself.》

Hey, thanks for agreeing to meet me.

Yeah, take a seat here next to me. It's really good to see you too!

I brought you something- I picked these from my garden for you!

Do you like them? They're not exactly long-stemmed *flower arrangement* type flowers, but the pale purples and the crisp whites make a cute posy when they're weaved together like this, don't they?

I'm glad you like them! Oh?

Exactly! They're *beautiful*, in an unconventional way.

Does that sound familiar? Nevermind.

I asked you here because you've been saying some pretty uncharitable things about someone who is really important to me.

Gremlin this, goblin that, potato, potato potato.

It… it has to stop, please. I can't have you besmirching the beauty of someone whose booty I'd love to besmooch.

Someday. If I had the courage. And consent, of course!

I'm rambling though!

《Urgency and intensity steadily ramps up…》

I'm talking about-

It's you! Your self-deprecating teardowns are starting to wear on my patience!

By your own description, you're not conventionally attractive, ok, so what does that make you?

[...]

N… no- if that ugly "U" word leaves your perfect lips I swear I will… umm… Tickle you until you cry!

[…]

You are- WE are- *UNCONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE*, sweetheart!

[...]

《High-energy, almost crazed rambling adoring diatribe mode, go!》

Don't give me that look! Listen-

We absolutely are our own kind of beautiful and we can absolutely own it!

Let's go back to the potato analogy you always seem to beat yourself over the bellybutton with, ok?

I promise I'm going somewhere with this!

So we're potatoes. Delicious, versatile potatoes. Sure we hang out underground, in the dark. And we may be a little...

Y'know. Lumpy. We might have some interesting bumps and scars marks and stuff.

But you know who else is fucking enrobed in those same indellible reminders of her trials, pain, defeats and victories and tribulations?

The munificent presence in the sky who has had untold numbers of poems and songs and stories dedicated to her unique luminescent glory?

[...]

What am I talking ab-

The fucking moon, you gorgeous dork!

If she can be revered and loved and a muse and a trusted chart of time-

And control the whims of fuzzy naughty knotty werewolves and decide the fate of teeming shipfuls of sweaty sailers riding on her tides-

And be "marred" by the marks that make her unique, then fuck it. We are just as valuable, regardless of how we look through the lenses and gazes of a society shaped by bodily commodities.

That's still not to say we don't have our own innate beauty, potatoes like you and I!

And we might be the dirtiest mofos in the fresh groceries section and I LOVE that for us!

《kind of coming-back-to-consciousness from the rambling fugue you were in, trying to wrangle some sense into what you were saying, so slower, kinda mumbling》

'Cause potatoes come… Y'know, covered in dirt… and you're so creatively smutty… And if left to your own devices you'd totally grow awesome tentacle-looking root things-

《and then fuck it, launch right back into the frenzied diatribe-spewing mode》

WHY AM I POTATE-SPLAINING THIS TO YOU!?

You know deep down how cute an interestingly shaped potato like you or me is!

Stretchy stripes? Gorgeous! Like lines of forked lightning streaking down our tummies or across our thighs or wherever else we're channeling goddamn Thor!

Scars? Wonderful! Tactile! Smoothness punctuated by a raised reminder of something you overcame? I'm gonna salute it and cherish you for battling through and wearing it like a badge!

Acne? It happens! Braces? Brace-yourself-for-the-heckin-cuteness more like!

《These two paragraphs are optional if you're unfamiliar with the song by The Whitlams》

{Cellulite? Hair? No hair? Red hair? Innocence? Saturday! And a picture of you!

Sorry, I had to put an esoteric music reference because I'm hopped up on YOU.}

What I'm trying to say is-

All of the things that make us "not conventionally attractive" give us our own kind of unconventional beauty and a worth extending beyond our inherent *usefulness* as like, ***chips*** or ***vodka***

Although- if given the chance I would totally gobble you up and I have to confess, and you absolut-ly go straight to my head and make me want to dance!

[...]

《again, half a moment of stumbling clarity but with even less effort, just diving right back into the same tone》

I meant like… Absolut…. The vodka bra-

Look! At The flowers! The ones in your hand, that I twisted together into a cacophony of purple and white winking beauty.

They're fuckmothering potato flowers.

Flowers- that spring out of potatoes.

WE BLOOM! And we are so fucking pretty when we do!

[...]

N...No, you're right, they're certainly NOT roses!

Pfft. Roses. Adorable little spiky metaphors about how beautiful things can be prickly and painful and hurt you if they're misunderstood or mishandled. With their adorable little thorny thorns. Petals of pink or red or yellow or black squeaking "I am more than my looks, handle me wrong and you might get a surprise U fuckin wU"

Potatoes meanwhile….

Are

Mother

Fucken

NIGHTSHADES.

Ignore our boundaries by putting parts of us in your mouth that we don't wanna put in your fucken mouth? Boom. Dead.

We're beautiful on our own terms… and deadly as fuck, on our own terms.

These flowers you're holding? Gorgeous, and harmless so long as you appreciate and respect them.

Disrespect and try to ingest them, however, and you're biting off more than you can chew, fucko!

We won't just prickle your poor little digits like a mishandled rose, oh no, we'll fucken straight up murder you cold!

Roses are pretty little ditzy thingies with a hello kitty pen-knife. Which is cute and valid and its own kind of dangerous beauty.

Potatoes like us though? We are the parable of the rose on fucking steroids.

We're the final level of "fuck around and find out."

Beauty that you have to appreciate, and fucking respect. Eat our stems? Dead. Eat our blooms? Dead. Eat our skin when it's green? Dead. Eat our seeds? Alive and health- NOPE, DEAD!

We can nourish others, but on our terms. That's us. And we don't owe the world anything of our own, and you bring so much to the worlds of those around you just by being in them!

So please, for me-

Know how deeply you are appreciated and adored and carry that with you.

And please, I know it's our easiest coping and defense mechanism, but you have to stop putting yourself down.

The venom within us is fantastic for making predators and assholes fuck off, but if you turn it inwards you risk poisoning yourself- withering on your own vine, unable to be everything you want to and know you can be.

So carry our voices with you- mine and the uplifted voices of the whole field of your fellow potatoes! Let our cheers surround you and drown out the toxic whispers.

We're all a bunch of unconventionally attractive, delicious, dirty little potatoes!

And… I hope that's an "I agree with you, and I'm going to take heart in knowing I'm not alone in this; I deserve to treat myself better than I have been" smile and not a… Y'know,

"I'm going to back away slowly now, but thankyou for my gifts of a fistful of poisonous flowers and a raving accosting speech about vodka and roses and killing people with solanine poisoning" kinda smile.

[...]

《super abrupt tone shift to shy and cautious and unsure and caught off balance》

It's a… you'd-like-to-negotiate-the-besmooching-of-your-booty-I-mentioned-earlier smile?

Oh, um, oh heck-

C… could we just start with each others' lips before we move onto kissing umm... cheeks?

《smooches for a bit, before pulling back》

I-I didn't realise that you would be so good at that…

I'm… a little turned on, and my face is on fire! What have you d...done to me?

Oh my gosh, look at your HANDS! Can I… Can I touch- hold them?

It's so… fascinating to see and feel how different our shapes… and sizes… and textures…

I'm getting kind of flustered, um.

Hey…. Uh… Please feel one hundred and nine percent ok to say no, but-

I can see you're um… feeling kind of similar to me and…

I don't want to ruin anything we have as friends, but I kinda really really wanna umm…

Let off some steam with you.

So would you mind if we um…. Got off together, but separately? I trust you and I adore you, but this is really kinda spur-of-the-moment and I don't have any dams or condoms or gloves or nipple clamps or- or- or-

[...]

You don't mind?

As in you want to? Or you don't want to? Would that be minding or not minding? Why am I so bad at mind-reading!?

Oh-

Oh, ok, I'm guessing that your underwear dropping to your ankles means we're doing this.

Oh good. Oh shit, I umm… Guess I'm kind of overdressed, huh? Haha- fuck.

T… turn around then while I get undressed.

[...]

Well I wanna preserve *some* semblance of mystery between us!

I'm gonna keep this on though, if you don't mind.

Exactly! What's a potato without a jacket!?

《entirely optional undressing noises》

[...]

Ok, umm… you can turn around now, but maybe gimme a sec to admire you from behind first?

Oh my god…

I promise I'm leering as respectfully as possible, but…

You're so fucking angelic. And I think I need to drink all of you in with my eyes.

Ok. Um. I kind of get a little loud and make… Interesting noises when I get off, so I hope you like it vocal.

So um. I guess I can start if you're ready? Oh gosh.

《oh boy another moan/masturbate to completion note in one of these things. Well, i'm writing this to try to put words in your mouth, not to write you a joi/si lol. Also it's a4a so i dunno what you're working with but whatever you got, work itttttt and moan/masturbate to completion, maybe commenting on how good the listener sounds, how their noises drive you crazy, ask them to speed up or slow down with you, take it in turns building to an edge with them, cum together with them- whatever your Masturbatus Operandi is, come to some heavy breathing and then》

Fuck me, that was amazing! You were amazing! You sounded so fucking good!

Did… Did you enjoy it too?

[...]

Oh, I'm so giddy and happy to hear that! Can I borrow those lips again?

《smooch》

And can I take your hand in mine again?

《more smoochings, then these lines muffled and and lavished adoringly into the listener's open mouth between kisses》

Mmf- I can feel your pulse in your wrist- your poor heart feels like it's gonna explode!

Mine too, though. How the fuck do you look-

And taste-

And sound-

So much more enrapturing than I even imagined!? With my filthy, decrepit imagination!?

《pull away from kissing with a lip smack if you can manage, and a contented sigh》

I…

I yam not kidding when I say you're the sweetest potato I know.

Sorry! I had too! Brain chemicals, I'm all fried.

Okay okay, that was the last potato pun, I promise!

But I hope you'll agree to be my sweet little precious potato;

And that you'll agree to take me as yours-

Does that sound

Does it sound

Does the idea

A-PEEL to you?

《Just like, abruptly cut off the audio here, you'll lose like 30 followers but imagine the RAGE》


End file.
